Disappointment is Expectation’s cojoined twin, I can’t have one without the other. No one invites Disappointment so, if I find Disappointment at my pity party, it’s because I’ve invited Expectation. I have no control over other people, the only person I can control is myself so when disappointment strikes I can only question my own behaviour:

• What was I expecting?
• Was it a reasonable expectation?
• Did I communicate that expectation clearly?
• Did I expect others to ‘know’ what I expected?
• Am I projecting my own code of conduct on others?
• What right do I have to impose my expectations on others?

It is not possible to change other people so when I find myself disappointed it is time for me to change my expectations. That does not mean that I think any less of others but rather that I admit that I don’t always know how other people will respond. It also does not require me to notify others of the ways in which they have disappointed me. I need only recognise that I don’t always know everything.